Mistletoe Madness
by Hawiian Girl
Summary: What happens when a sixteenyearold Sirius gets bored around Christmas time? Magically enhanced mistletoe.


AN: I will update my other stories soon, people! I just can't get this idea out of my head. Okay, what happens when a sixteen-year-old Sirius Black gets bored around Christmastime? Magically enhanced mistletoe. 'Tis the season to be evil, fa la la la la…

Sirius Black rolled onto his back, then his side, then his stomach. He had claimed the squishy leather couch near the fire as his own, and had written SIRIUS BLACK in red and green permanent marker on the seats. Peter was eating, James was writing poetry about Lily again, and Remus was… _studying! On vacation! _The very thought disgusted him. Tis the season to be bored, fa la la la la, la la la la. An idea struck him and Sirius sat bolt upright, startling some timid-looking young girls. He grinned like a maniac and ran up to his dorm. Pulling boxes and bags out from under his bed, he started throwing around their contents, looking for James's gift last Christmas.

"HA!" Sirius yelled, holding up a small plastic bag that read: _Magically Enhanced_ _Mistletoe_. Any two people of the same age and opposite gender caught under this mistletoe will be forced to kiss. Whipping out his wand, Sirius duplicated it several million times with a handy spell he normally used on candy.

Still grinning, Sirius proceeded to hang the mistletoe on every square inch of the castle's ceilings.

The next morning Lily Evans woke up to her friend Ana poking her in the eyeball. Ana, by no fault of her own, was twin sister to Remus Lupin and the crush of Sirius Black.

"Arrrraaaaaggggghhhhh! Ana! How many times do I have to tell you, if you want me awake, just make my alarm clock go off!" yelled Lily, throwing a pillow at the other red-haired, green-eyed girl. The two could pass for twins if they really wanted to.

"Sorry Lils, but we have to get to safe ground! Someone hung magically enhanced mistletoe on every square inch of every ceiling. All smart people are going outside with tents, and we have to leave. It's a battlefield out there, and we'll get stuck kissing people all day if we don't hurry," Ana said, pointing to an already packed backpack and pile of camping gear. Lily jumped out of bed and prepared to leave. Lily's other friend, a blond girl by the name of Emma, was getting ready to leave as well.

The three girls, armed with wands, all the gear, and the knowledge of karate, set out to avoid perverted boys. They where everywhere! Running after girls that they liked, just standing in one spot, whatever. Lily gulped. This _was_ going to be hard.

Ana Lupin was on her guard every minute, knowing that four boys were patrolling the corridors with a magical map that allowed them to know where every girl in the castle was. Many people were running around like maniacs, trying to get safely to an exit. Knowing they would occasionally have to karate chop anyone that approached, the girls made it to the staircase, where many girls were grouped, knowing boys couldn't reach them. However, all girls year five and up had decided to let the little girls have the common room. It would be safer for them. Careful not to step on anyone's feet, the trio descended the stairs into the battle.

"Dude, this was the best idea you've ever had!" yelled James Potter, punching his best friend in the shoulder. Sirius held up a hand, motioning that James should be quiet. He studied an old piece of parchment know as the Marauder's Map intently.

"We have motion!" Sirius yelled. "Phoenix, Griffin and Sphinx have emerged and are heading towards bottom of staircase!" Quickly charming everyone so they wouldn't have to kiss every member of their fan club, the Marauders ran towards the bottom of the girl's staircase.

"Hey Evans!" yelled James, waving widely at Lily. She recoiled for a moment, but continued towards the bottom with her friends. Sirius grinned up at Ana, Remus and Peter just stood there. The boys spread out so they blocked the common room.

"Drill twenty three, NOW!" yelled Ana. Remus stepped backwards and slapped James and Sirius on the back of the head.

"You don't do that to my sister and her friends!" yelled Remus, going into full brotherly wrath. He continued to rant, creating enough confusion for the girls to squeeze through the boy's wall and sprint to the exit. Once out of the portrait hole, the girls ran full pelt down some staircases, occasionally having to pause and kiss someone. Each time they kicked the boy in the shins and continued running.

Back in the common room, Remus stopped yelling. James and Sirius looked amazed. Remus rarely shouted, but when he did, it was slightly scary. Remus stormed up the stairs to the boy's dormitory, the only mistletoe free zone in the school. Peter followed him. Shrugging, James studied the map for a minute, then ran after the girls. Sirius followed.

They caught up to the girls in the entrance hall. James put on a burst of speed, dragging Sirius with him. They girls were almost out the door when James whipped out his wand.

"Impedimenta!" he shouted, and Lily and Ana stopped dead in their tracks. Emma looked back for a moment, but ran out the doors and stood on the steps.

James and Sirius went to their respective girls and stood in front of them. Both glared and cracked their knuckles.

"Potter, what kind of flowers do you want at your funeral? And what kind of death wish do you have?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, and make it something that can look like an accident, I'm not in the mood for prison," Ana added. Sirius smirked and stepped closer to her, son they were almost under the mistletoe. Then he stopped, and, aiming his wand at the ceiling, blew the mistletoe above Ana away.

"The spirit of Christmas is truly wonderful," Sirius said. "I don't like to force people." Ana smiled.

"Thanks," she said, and, in a un-Ana like moment, hugged him, then escaped out the doors.

James looked at this exchange, then at the struggling girl he had liked since first year. _Aww, little Sirius is being nice, _he thought. What the heck was up with that? He stepped closer to Lily and kissed her, but only for a second, and on the cheek. Then he blasted away a path out the doors.

"Thanks Pott- James," Lily said, giving him a hug.

_At least she called me James. Better then nothing," _James thought. Together, he and Sirius proceeded to destroy all mistletoe except in the Slytherin common room.

AN: Please review? Bambi eyes Sorry if anyone cough everyone was out of character. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows and heat homes of the needy.


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